Of Daemons and Derpyness – A Tongue in Cheek Review of the New Daemons

Good traveler, welcome to my pit of foul delights… You have a taste for sins of the flesh? Well, we have just the thing for you:

Slnhearld1

OK- she looks like she’d give you a claw job that would BLOW YOUR MIND- but what’s with the skirts? I think Games Workshop have struggled back and forth between showing too much and not enough. I mean look at these ladies:

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Now you’re probably thinking that I’m some kind of foul pervert- and I am – but that doesn’t make my point any less valid. All I am trying to say is, that somewhere between six tittied, tentacle haired monsters and weird, chicken-legged, androgynous castanet dancers there must be a sultry, sexy middle ground where the followers of Slannesh can all meet up and have a sexy party. I don’t dislike the new herald but then again, as I’ve said- he/she just doesn’t feel Slanneshi enough.

So- snappy claws aren’t your thing? You’re more of a “blood for the Blood God” kinda guy? Well, mister am I about to disappoint you.

Take a look at this abomination:

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Firstly, what are the guys on the back doing? Seriously- are they loading the thing? Aiming? Or are they simply waving their over-sized swords around whilst screaming ‘Wazzzzupppp’- what is with the followers of Khorne? They all seem to be modeled with tongues too big to fit in their mouths; even the skull cannon has a tongue.

I’m really not sure what is going on here; normally I either love a new model or despise it. This thing is just plain weird. It’s as if someone had this conversation:

Designer one: So you know how Bloodletters are like hell-daemons?
Designer two: Like devils you mean?
Designer one: Yeah- exactly.
Designer two: I’m with you.
Designer one: And you know how daemons and devils used to be angels?
Designer two: Well I guess…
Designer one: Two words… HELLS ANGELS
Designer two: YES.

Have you ever been so mad you vomited fire everywhere? Well this guy is for you:

TzChariotB1

Plain and simple- this model looks like a floating pile of seaweed. I love it. SEAWEED MONSTERS HO!

So we’ve almost come to the end of our chaos quartet. It’s been a blast- no really- I’m glad I waited months for these pictures. Before I go, I will reveal a picture that will make you sick in your mouth. Papa Nurgle’s blessings be with you my child:

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What is it with Plaguebearers? They LOVE riding stuff, if it’s not giant hopping plague frogs it’s these bumbling plague drones. It’s all that “slow and purposeful” stuff, I think it’s given them a complex… Ok- the models, they’re alright. I quite like them; even though they’re not as cool as the ones I had envisioned GW releasing. At the moment I can’t get this guy out of my head:

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For those uninitiated in the ways of We Are Klang, the purple looking thing at the front is Mr. Snitch. He bears a striking resemblance to our new plague mounts.

I understand that there are more pictures in the ether and that it’s really too soon to judge any of these models. This is all said with tongue in cheek- but so far, I remain unmoved.

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