I don’t know about you but I’m a lifer. I’ve spent most of my life making models, painting models and playing games with models. I look around my man-hole and evidence of my hobby is everywhere. It’s not just the shelves crammed with books and models- it’s in the very air, in the poly-cement fumes that drift about my hunched carcass as I work on the latest project.
I’m not knocking the hobby we all know and love, but every now and then I step out of myself and look at it. It (the hobby – Warhammer, call it what you like) always makes me pause and think: have I really dedicated my life to collecting model men? With the money I’ve spent on my hobby I could’ve put down a deposit on a house. If I were to go in my cupboard, it’s crammed full of half finished (and barely started) projects. Here we see a case containing a full Dogs of War army- never touched, there a pile of unopened Empire units that I swear I’ll get around to.
My own fickle nature is buried in my cupboard. If I look at my eBay account, my concern only grows deeper. I see years of my life stretching back as I click through the pages of items I’ve sold. Armies and models unpainted, half painted, unopened and untouched. Projects, projects and more projects abandoned for another hobby enthusiast to carry and discard at their whim.
These moments of clarity, where I look at my hobbying ways with fresh eyes, truly astound me. I’m left with a burning desire to burn the lot of it- to stack up the myriad piles of army books, model cases, bitz boxes and accessories and douse them in petrol.
It’s OK though- I’m currently working on a Daemon army. I’m doing something I’ve never done before: I’m magnetizing the bases… I know! Amazing right? I’ll be able to use the army in 40k or Fantasy (please ignore my eight other armies that work for either of these systems), but I know the novelty of magnets will ware out. I’m already looking at starting a Horus Heresy army. I can justify it to myself and my partner (who tolerates my interests), I hear myself:
‘Well I want to get some Deathguard Marines- only to augment my Daemon army… It’s OK though, I’ll only get a squad here and there… I won’t go crazy.’
Little does she know that I have a colour coordinated list of the most to least important things for this new project. I may be quick to abandon an old project but I plan a new one with military precision- oh yes.
So as I sit here, working on my Daemon army, in the knowledge that I will probably never finish it, I ask myself what I really enjoy about this hobby. The answer can’t be the finished project, a sense of satisfaction at seeing your work complete- maybe the reality of the project isn’t what I love. It’s the potential, the new project, the ONE project that will be completed, that will be amazing, that will top everything that’s gone before it…
I have a dream- a dream of a promised land where I sit in the glow of this finished project, but for now dear reader- I will return to my Daemons.